Sweet Memories and Sweet Custard

Lord, another game already? How many more of these do we have, anyway?

Ugh, sorry for the whininess, Diary. It's probably just the salsa talking. Dinner last night with Joy was incredible: unlimited fish tacos and no corkage at Goncalo's. After dinner I did the thing where I cut a small piece of the flan and then took the surrounding whole. Joy loves that bit. Plus while she was laughing I was able to shovel a few huge spoonfuls into my mouth without her noticing. I have to be creative to get around this bullshit no-custards rule she forced on me last month.

The only thing worse than coaching and coaching against an opposing little guy is coaching against an opposing little guy I love, Stevie Nash. I may have to start CJ over Monta tonight just to get that precious inch of advantage.

I remember the first time I saw Stevie. He was swishing three after three and he just looked so adorably little. Donnie had been talking my ear off about him, but I didn't need any more convincing, not after that showing. Not many people know this, but I was the one who told Stevie to grow his hair out, which coincided with him becoming a star. Basketball is a complicated game.

Hoo boy, Diary. Looks like it's about time to head over to Oracle. But not before a quick nap.

the WHATland???

man this sounds crazy but sometimes its like the internet doesn't even know me

Oh, The Things I'd Do To Joe Lieberman

My surgery was a success... the doc got the bone spurs out nice and easy, and he said I should be good as new in three months. I told him I wished he could say the same for our health care system. He just stared at me.

What a fiasco. I knew I should never have gotten "public option" tattooed in 256-point font on the left side of my body, stretching from ankle to armpit. (When I play, the only part visible between my shorts and socks is the "-blic"... Vlad tells me that's the name of his hometown newspaper.) I knew Obambi was a corporatist at heart, but I thought we'd get an opt-out or a trigger or Medicare buy-in or something. But nope -- it all fell to shit. ClintonCare all over again. And here I am, laid up in one of the very fee-for-service ho$pitals that's bankrupting this country, watching our progressive dreams get murdered by a man named LIEberman.

I've spent the past two days writhing in my hospital bed and thinking about the stuff I'd do if Joe Lieberman and I were alone in a room together (in my head it's sort of a classic TV den). I've narrowed it down to five main things:

1) reading off a list of uninsured New Haven residents with a principled quiver in my voice, pausing to catch my emotions after every seventh name

2) telling him to imagine that Aetna CEO Ronald Williams is sitting on the couch, and to imagine that I'm him (Lieberman), then kneeling in front of the couch and simulating fellatio on the imaginary Williams, emitting loud noises to make it clear to Lieberman that I (i.e. him) am enjoying this

3) Pretending to be asleep, and then when he gets up to leave, bolting awake and just screaming and screaming in his face

4) producing a picture of his hero, former Connecticut governor and progressive legend Abraham A. Ribicoff, and slowly tearing it in half, while imperceptibly shaking my head

5) telling him that I appreciate his hard work on climate change and offering a handshake, then grabbing his hand, spinning him around so his back's to me and delivering a crazy, sloppy axe-handle punch to the back of his smug-ass neck

More later, diary.

Pics From Our Trip To Pittsburgh

The recession's really got some people down... Meka used a Nikon D60 lens here. Something I had forgotten: "Mister Rogers" was produced in Pittsburgh. Neat!

top 10 places 2 see a b00b

10. a carnival

9. sh0time

8. in like a meadow (i bet)

7. t!tty b-R

6. follow around biedrins n just see whut he duz

5. wedged in2 a strippR butt

4. nature sh0z

3. place where you get a whor 2 go

2. my mind/hRt (tie)

1. on a womans chest

I Am The Dreamiest Thing Going

The eyes. The 'ceps. The lips, diary. I mean, come on. I am presenting nothing less than a statue to the world at large.

Let's talk about why my two potential attractiveness flaws are actually enormous attractiveness strengths. The hairline scares some at first, as it bespeaks a masculinity few have ever considered. But look at it again, and you get used to it. (Boy, do you.) Then we come to the strident flare of the nostrils: much like the 'line, they initially disarm you. But why would you want to be armed around a piece of fine China like Kelenna Azubuike?

Also, to be clear, this is real deal... no Photoshop chicanery here. Just a little common-sense color balancing and Rubber Stamp removal of two "skin blemishes" that must have been camera dirt. Also, the photo was taken at Media Day, not in a Swiss meadow. But I do plan on going to Switzerland soon. I'm excited about the trip, and -- believe me -- so is Switzerland.