at least the computers like me :(

checked the twitter account just now. up to 224425 followers. how about that. 224425 followers and not one friend.

went over to basketball prospectus afterward and my numbers still look pretty good. im still behind randolph (whos killin it) and maggette but im clockin in at a .520 individual win %. my drtg is down to 104.3 which is probably the part im proudest about.

and diary if youre wondering if that has gotten me any respect the answer is NO. the euro guys put my head in the toilet again this afternoon. and then monta stole my car and drove it into a river and even the coaching staff told me not to be a pussy about it.

i wish there was someone in this world who understood how i feel

at least the computers like me :(

somebody tweeted me about something called basketball prospectus and at first i was all "naw keepin it real". but they said itd make me feel better about how things have been goin lately and so the basketball prospectus told me that i have a .595 winning percentage and at first i was like lol wut i'm not a team but i guess it means me and four average guys would be a 49-33 team. and i was like you mean me and four like guys from the gas station would be a six seed and then realized no it meant PLAYERS it meant average PLAYERS anthony. but still they said that was good and it does sound pretty good and matter of fact the last time the warriors were that good i was five. and my winning percentage (still lols me) is the best on the team like im the best player we got i guess

so now vlads starting over me and slapping at the ball like hes a cat and just looking gross. and i just gotta keep KILLIN IT from the bench

i wish there was someone in this world who understood how i feel

purity tests are gross

sick man whyd coach make us all take this i feel like barfin

Log 12.15.09

On the fifteenth day of every seventh month I exercise my penis.

* 800 jelqs (wet)

* 400 jelqs (dry)

* 120 Kegels (30 seconds per)

* 10 weight hangs (7.5 lbs/10 minutes per)

* 5 Peyronies stretches (23˚ avg straighten)

* 3.6 lbs skirt steak

* 2 oz water

I haven't ejaculated in over fifteen years.

$H!t 1 Bought 2dA

so f'n sexE -- nU BEST SHIRT

got 2 have ALWAZE -- 80 t00bz (of)

fierce az FUK -- 1 love sO much per¢

never trU party w/o 1 white baB

was running low on these

such fn hot KAR - don't Even nO how 2 open door - love sO much

UGH. Coaching, Am I Right?

I'm supposed to face the Spurs with these jokers? The Spurs are really good! I've read about them.

Ol' Mr. 1300 had a killer plan, too. It started off all normal-like, with Curry and Monta in the backcourt. Then CJ at the three, for a nice, tiny, stubby mismatch. Vlad'd still be my power forward, except I'd make him play while kneeling. He'd look like Dorf (love Dorf), plus it'd make for a great mismatch.

Center was the problem -- I could not think of a center to use. I like how good Mikki is at keeping his arms pinned to his sides when opponents are shooting near him. On the other hand, he's just so damned tall. Creeps me out. And a post-pneumonia fatty should not go around getting creeped out... my doctor was very forceful on that point. Speaking of giant freaks, Randolph asked me if he could play center and I projectile-spat a barely-chewed walnut in his face.

So I opened the box. Asked Keith Smart if he'd come out of retirement to be my five, but that question seemed to bother him; the other Keith I know, the Jennings variety, wasn't home when I called. My next thought was Pete Maravich -- could be a nice, thin, wispy mismatch -- but it turns out he's been dead for twenty years.

Coaching is just the shits. I drunk-dialed Lenny Wilkens at three AM last night (he's some kind of weirdo non-sleeper so I knew he'd be up) and offered him a deal: we meet in St. Louis, each draw one from the deck, high card takes the all-time wins record. I even told him we could use my favorite tits-&-bush deck, the one where they're all dressed up like military figures. Wilkens softly chuckled and asked after my family; click, was my response. Am I the only sane person left in this world?

Crap, just remembered: I left a couple hundred Now & Laters in the microwave. Take it sleazy, diary.

I WIPE MY ASS WITH ANTHONY MORROW

MORE LIKE PRONOUNCED MVP YOU PILE OF BITCHES

my top ten lady body parts

almost wrote lady body farts mmloLOL so crunk

as if bc there are only like three lady body farts just butt arm and mouth i think

ok so

10. B00BZ

9. hot leeeeggz

8. da BUTT

7. part where da leggz touch DA BUTT

6. front hip bone part (HAWT)

5. (holes)

4. jacked arms rihanna WHUT

3. neck -- like a nice smooth neck

2. soul (talking/painting)

1. T!T$

Pics From The Time I Hid From A Monster

Boy was I scared! Pics came out great though.

What If We Never Find Out Who The Mother Is?

Had a really fun brunch with Marissa and Lindsey and the girls today... had a couple more mimosas than I should've, so apologies in advance in advance for any spelling errors.

Anyway, talk turned, as it usually does, to the identity of the mother of Ted Mosby's children. Marissa is still pushing Stella, and while that's plausible, it just feels unsatisfying. Lindsey thinks it's Barney. I love her creativity, and obviously the denouement of that would be hardcore hilar, but, come on. I'm sticking to my guns with Robin. Call me a Season One sucker -- the girls certainly did -- but I still want to see those two make it. Roxanne pointed out that that'd mean the pilot was a huge cheat. Come on, people: it's Bays and Thomas. If Robin really is the mom, you can bet they have a pretty brilliant way of explaining it.

FOURTH RING HERE I COME