omg poor frasier

got 2 jet (game's about 2 start) but just had to get this up. just goes 2 show: u never know what will happen on the internet

What It Is Like... When I Dream

my top ten buttz

just for now. buttz can change obvi LOL

10 jessica alba DAAANG

9 rihanna wutta BUTT

8 taylor swift i like ur BUTT

7 amy adams

6 megan fox u have a nice BUTT

5 rachel mcadams haz a BUTT

4 WINSLET GOTTA BUTT

3 josh duhamel

2 britney u had a rough time but vlad still likes ur BUTT

1 KELLI CLARKSON I LOVE UR BUTT GREAT JOB WITH UR BUTT CALL ME SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT UR BUTT

WTF?!

so sick -- i hate that this is a thing

"What The Fuck", Funkagenda (Original Club Mix)

They know what is what
But they don't know what is what
They just strut
What the fuck?
(x94)

Back To Work

The best thing about being back: the chair in my office. It's so soft and deep, cups my lumps perfectly... that thing is a treasure. Settle in there with a four-pack of wine coolers and an easy Sudoku puzzle and you are GOLDEN. I whipped off a quick four-hour nap in that bad boy earlier today.

On the down side, Keith Smart is really starting to get on my nerves. He came into my office -- during my twenty-minute nap cooldown -- and told me about all these alignments and plays and whozits and whatsits. Shoved a bunch of papers in my face. I pulled my eyelids wide and feigned buckteeth and said "ohhhh, teechaaa, I wanta mo homewuuuuk." In retrospect, I shouldn't have gone racial on him; a Laotian intern walked by my door just as I really kicked in the accent, and I think she started crying. But Keith got the message. He crumpled the papers up and slunk out, real slow, shoulders heaving. He may have been crying too, come to think of it.

We're playing Houston tonight. Tough team to match up against: they've got a really short frontcourt, so I'm going to have to get creative if I want us to be smaller (AND I DO). C.J. at the four is what I'm thinking. We'll see who mismatches who, Adelman, you fuck.

Smell ya later, diary... Bonnie Hunt and Dr. Oz are calling.

Log 12.03.09

On the third day of every month I work out my face.

600 lip puckers

120 nostril flares (w/ resistance)

90 chin raises

50 eyebrow pushes

40 cheek sucks (no resistance)

30 blink sprints

25 power furrows

20 ear flexes (10 lbs per)

28 rice cakes

1 Powerbar (vanilla)

My Favorite "How I Met Your Mother" Episode

Someone asked this question on the AOL fanboard, and my response was immediate: "Can't pick one." Just can't do it. It'd be easier if you asked me what my, like, favorite eighty episodes are, and even then I'd be leaving out some real gems.

But you know what: that's just cowardice on my part. Sometimes you've got to make some tough choices... sometimes a man needs to take a stand. So I sat down and watched the whole series again, trying to figure out my favorite episode. It was -- you guessed it -- really, really fun. (This time, through, the character I enjoyed the most was Lily. Go figure.)

So without further ado, Diary, my favorite episode: the ninth episode in Season Two, 31st episode overall...

...you guessed it. "Slap Bet", a.k.a. "Robin Sparkles."

I know, I know, not the most creative choice. What can I say? It just holds up. The slap bet stuff is fantastic, and really important for the whole series, needless to say. Some really classic Barneyisms here. And I'll be damned if "Let's Go To The Mall" isn't catchy as hell! The ep's just great, winning, hilarious fun all the way through. Quintessential "HIMYM."

Feels good to get that settled. I'm off to re-watch the first two seasons of "Big Bang Theory"... people tell me I need to give it another chance.

A CLIP THAT WILL BLOW YOUR MINDDDD

i forget how to upload clips on2u diary but

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM

basically this one kid charlie is all up on this other kidz finger and its LOLOLOLOLOL

man where do all these great clips from i swear the internet is like the best thing in the world after basketball and twitter

EDIT: and my son

Places I've Been Lately With My Championship Rings

* on the beach

* a Thai restaurant close to my house

* a Saturn dealership (yup, they still exist)

* just around: here and there

* a barbecue restaurant, not that close to my house

* match.com

* with my dogs

* with my dawgz

* UP IN PEOPLE'S SHIT

Howard Dean: I Love You, But Settle Down

Saw this over on TAPPED this morning:

According to Dean, the most important component of the health care bill is the public option. "If we don’t have a choice, this bill is worthless and should be defeated," the former Governor of Vermont said.

C'mon, HD. Insuring 31 million Americans, lowering the burden on middle-class families, ending rescission... that's worthless? You're talking turkey. What happened to the guy I canvassed for five years ago?

The left is killing me. It's like we're afraid to win. The Rethugs are just licking their chops right now.

All for now, diary. Oh, we lost today... lost hard. I let the bigger Nuggets do anything they damn well pleased. Russ Turner and I watched some film after the game and we both just started laughing. It's like, what did I think I was doing out there? Good Christ, I'm bad at basketball.

I'm gonna write a really long, shrill e-mail to MoveOn about this Dean thing. Will let you know what I hear.

me and my blocks

sometimes when i go up for a block it's just a regular basketball play

sometimes when i go up for a block i NAIL it and it just feels RIGHT like that ball belongs in those STANDS UNGHH

sometimes when i go up for a block it all comes together perfect like my body is just finding a groove and it's all just smooth jazz from here till springfield

sometimes when i go up for a block i think i can see everything like the whole scheme of things and i can take everything and heal it and get it all working again. i can shot-block the PAIN and i can shot-block the INJUSTICE and i can send all the negativity right back into the face of the blazer that it came from and everything will finally be really good like i was told it'd be

sometimes when i go up for a block i can feel the outlines of ideas like time and space and life and death and i realize that these are just ideas that we tell ourselves and that really it's all more of a -- like a donut-shaped spectrum with this gentle kind of -- well

but usually when i go up for a block i miss the ball and get called for a foul and fall on my butt with my arms and legs whipping around like car-lot streamers and nellie looks mad and monta looks mad and my parents at home look mad and i just have to climb within myself and focus on not crying while i get ready to box out on the second free throw

basketball is a complicated game

Log 11.29.09

Yesterday was finger day.

* 80 static hangs

* 30 sets forearm curls (18 reps)

* 20 open palm deadlifts

* 7 farmer's walks (500 meters per)

* 20 wrist curls

* 80 fingertip push-ups (rings/pinkies only)

*131 Odwalla Peanut Crunch bars

* 1 oz water

"Pillz", DJ Zany

(Take the blue pill
Take the blue pill
Take the red pill
Take the red pill)28x

This is your last chance, after this there is no turning back
You take the blue pill the story ends you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe,
You take the red pill you stay in wonderland, and I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Take the blue pill,take the red pill,take the red pill
Take the blue pill,take the red pill,take the red pill
Take the blue pill,take the blue pill,take the red pill,take the red pill
Take the blue pill,take the blue pill

cant a brother get some respect for his plusminus

im serious. i just went to 82games and my plus minus is like insane. we are plus sixteen points per 48 minutes when im out there and minus six points per 48 minutes when im getting the shaft. youd think that a guy with a plus minus like that would get some props from his coworkers. but then again no you wouldnt because that guy is ole cj watson and ole cj watson doesnt get any props from anybody no matter what he does or how hard he tries.

like a damn fool i thought i could get the guys to appreciate me by hinting about it. i told vlad to check out plus minus stats next time he was near a computer and he said next time he was near me he would plus minus a dick. i knew that was an insult but didn't quite get it and his bad english made it tough but eventually we agreed that hed meant he was going to cut off my dick ie the minus and sodomize me with his dick ie the plus. it was actually pretty gratifying to cross the communication barrier like that and it felt like a nice moment. then vlad jabbed me in the forehead with his saab key and i started bleeding like a fabulous freebird. you can pretty much imagine the hilarity that ensued. people were so happy that id been attacked again that they almost stopped the bus to celebrate.

i dont really blame vlad. hes the new guy and when youre the new guy you have to try to fit in and sometimes that means beating up on the guy everyone else beats up on. i just think a guy who makes his team twentytwo points better per 48minutes should get treated a little better than this. but who are we kidding diary. anyway thanks for listening you didnt have to do that.

best cat blooper video EVARRR

and believe me i have seen them all