cant a brother get some respect for his plusminus

im serious. i just went to 82games and my plus minus is like insane. we are plus sixteen points per 48 minutes when im out there and minus six points per 48 minutes when im getting the shaft. youd think that a guy with a plus minus like that would get some props from his coworkers. but then again no you wouldnt because that guy is ole cj watson and ole cj watson doesnt get any props from anybody no matter what he does or how hard he tries.

like a damn fool i thought i could get the guys to appreciate me by hinting about it. i told vlad to check out plus minus stats next time he was near a computer and he said next time he was near me he would plus minus a dick. i knew that was an insult but didn't quite get it and his bad english made it tough but eventually we agreed that hed meant he was going to cut off my dick ie the minus and sodomize me with his dick ie the plus. it was actually pretty gratifying to cross the communication barrier like that and it felt like a nice moment. then vlad jabbed me in the forehead with his saab key and i started bleeding like a fabulous freebird. you can pretty much imagine the hilarity that ensued. people were so happy that id been attacked again that they almost stopped the bus to celebrate.

i dont really blame vlad. hes the new guy and when youre the new guy you have to try to fit in and sometimes that means beating up on the guy everyone else beats up on. i just think a guy who makes his team twentytwo points better per 48minutes should get treated a little better than this. but who are we kidding diary. anyway thanks for listening you didnt have to do that.