I Am The Dreamiest Thing Going

The eyes. The 'ceps. The lips, diary. I mean, come on. I am presenting nothing less than a statue to the world at large.

Let's talk about why my two potential attractiveness flaws are actually enormous attractiveness strengths. The hairline scares some at first, as it bespeaks a masculinity few have ever considered. But look at it again, and you get used to it. (Boy, do you.) Then we come to the strident flare of the nostrils: much like the 'line, they initially disarm you. But why would you want to be armed around a piece of fine China like Kelenna Azubuike?

Also, to be clear, this is real deal... no Photoshop chicanery here. Just a little common-sense color balancing and Rubber Stamp removal of two "skin blemishes" that must have been camera dirt. Also, the photo was taken at Media Day, not in a Swiss meadow. But I do plan on going to Switzerland soon. I'm excited about the trip, and -- believe me -- so is Switzerland.